“We are the ones who turn away from the Lord’s mercy; the Lord never turns away from us” (Secrets of Heaven 588).
“The innermost recesses are where heavenly joy comes from. I also perceived that joy and pleasure seemed to come from my heart, gently permeating all the inmost fibers of my body and thus all the bundles of fibers. The sensation of this joy at the deepest levels made it seem as though each fiber was composed of nothing but joy and pleasure and all the perceptiveness and sensitivity that comes with joy and pleasure. The fibers seemed alive with happiness” (Secrets of Heaven 545[2]).
A regular beginning pattern to my meditation is that I focus on the breath and get physically restful and relaxed, then for a long time my natural focus is mental or thought-based: repeating words or thinking of ideas. Then today this led me to think of a friend of mine with love and how much I want to call her and see how she is doing. This thought reminded me that love brings union and my whole state shifted—I became focused on the love I have for my friend, but it expanded to love I have for lots of things—my marriage, my children, my life. And this shift brought with it a deepening of my whole being. My state felt more strongly connected to the Lord. It felt good. This brief experience was enough to convince me that love is central, that it is the reason for living, and that it is what brings all things good. It felt more peaceful and timeless than the previous thought-based state. My body felt vibrant. It was cool because I’ve had some awareness of this focus shift in previous meditations but never was able to acknowledge it directly until today.
I remember now this shift came after I was thinking about how in my life I’ve imagined two different ways of being connected to the inflow of the Lord and heaven. First, through the top of my head—an openness there, with light flowing in that then fills my whole body. Second, through my heart, which doesn’t have as much of a visual to it, but is flowing in through the back of my heart to my front—maybe a red-golden glow if I had to describe it, but it’s simultaneously dark and silent… hard to explain. Thinking about these two ways of imagining connecting to the Lord’s inflowing brought me to contemplate the different and similar aspects of each. I think they both are good, just different. I see a parallel between these two ways of imagining the Lord’s inflowing and the two states I find myself passing through as my meditations deepen. Thought-based and feeling-based; mind-based and heart-based. It is a fun practice of internal awareness.