Rather than argue her perspective with quotes from scripture, Michelle urges people to listen deeply to each other and maintain a humble and open mind when discussing homosexuality. While certainty remains out of reach, mutual love and respect must inform the search for it. This is the final entry in our July series on homosexuality. -Editor.
I am sure I’m not alone when I say that I’m still trying to balance my view on homosexuality between its modern cultural context and the authority I give the teachings of the New Church. We are probably the majority out there— wishy-washy about what we believe, or too hesitant to say what we actually believe in fear of offending someone. But the truth is, offense has happened. Feelings have been hurt. People have died over this issue. No matter what conclusion people come to, there is discomfort out there around homosexuality and it’s not going anywhere right now.
Here’s the way I see it: it is fairly evident that homosexuality is not completely orderly or within the parameters of “conjugial love”— procreation the obvious example. The argument has been spelled out many times before, a man is fully a man to the last detail, woman is the same way, and together they complement each other in a heavenly model of perfection. There is an ideal out there that we are pressured to achieve, the white-picket-fence-golden-retriever-living-room-with-white-carpets ideal. A man and a woman married together, preferably with children, biological if possible.
But then, there are plenty of less-than-ideal relationship or family situations out there: single, divorced, widowed, adoption, single parents, other family members stepping in for the absent parents, etc. Some of these may come about via poor choices, and some from unforeseen circumstances. Just because they are not the prescribed “right way to do things” doesn’t necessarily make them evil or wrong—they are different. Could it be homosexuality falls under this category?
As New Church individuals, we pride ourselves on the acceptance of variety; there are many different ways to reach the LORD and heaven. We usually see this as different religions. Sexual orientation is another avenue of that. As it stands now, according to my own readings from Scripture and meditation and listening to arguments from both sides, I believe that marriage is more closely aligned with conjugial love when it is between a man and a woman, but a gay or lesbian relationship can still be a wonderful loving thing and politically I’d like to see more states allow these couples to be married. There, I’ve said it. That’s where I stand right now. I’m not going to the sociopolitical or Biblical verse-by-verse argument for my stance, those arguments are already written and debated out there, much more eloquently than I would be able to do.
What I would like to do is implore people to keep an open mind, and actually listen when people are offering their view on this matter. Don’t just sit there, waiting for the other person to finish talking so you can dazzle them with your more-rational thoughts. Don’t try to convert the other person to your side. Actually listen, hear what they’re saying, try to understand where they’re coming from. I’ve said that the above is what I personally believe “right now” because I’m not 100% sure of that. I’m still willing to listen to other sides and take their points into consideration.
What I’d also like to challenge you to do is pray, and reflect on Scripture for yourself. As it stands in this natural, physical world, I don’t think we can directly, 100% know for sure about homosexuality. The LORD has provided the Three-Fold Word for us to explore and challenge ourselves, and let ourselves be open to hear what He has to tell us individually. Reading secular articles about the science of brain chemistry or other people’s understanding of society or the Word can be great and informative, but going to the source directly and humbly is just as important.
Above all, I would ask everyone to treat others with understanding, respect, and love. What saddens me most is when a gay or lesbian individual is shunned from their society and especially his/her church. This unfortunately happens in many churches mostly because these individuals are seen as “disruptive” to the worship sphere of the established congregation. If you did believe that homosexuality was wrong, I would think you would want that person to come to church all the more? These people are met with a lot of hurt and confusion. In these harsh states, people need the LORD all the more. Why would you want to interfere with that? We are all God’s children, and all deserve love and respect from each other.
Jesus replied, “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)