Often I think the hells trick us into being more miserable than we need to be. Perhaps we don’t feel as energized or as happy as we would like some days. And some days we feel a little depressed and down. But do we say to ourselves, “Oh hello, sadness how are you today? What do you need?” No. Not usually. Most of the time we say, “Go away misery! I want happiness! Leave me alone. I hate you.” And then we begin to get mad at ourselves for being so miserable. And it spreads to those around us and sometimes we feel guilty for lashing out at others just because we are miserable. And the hells have a party because our misery becomes a toilet bowl being flushed—an endless spiral downwards.
How can we stop this downward spiral? Plugging it up often seems like the easiest way. Bottle up that emotion! Ignore irritation! But Thomas Moore in his book Care of the Soul cautions: “Hiding the dark places results in a loss of soul” (148). As tempting as it is to ignore or bury the things that bother us, we actually are stifling a part of ourselves that needs listening to. Moore also says: “Care of the soul begins with observance of how the soul manifests itself and how it operates...Observance is a word from ritual and religion. It means to watch out for but also to keep and honor, as in the observance of a holiday” (5). So when negative states are manifest in our life, does observing and honoring those states help?
When we look at our life when we are in a negative state, we see failure, we feel hopelessness, and we hear negativity whispering in our ear. It’s easy when we aren’t in this state to say, “Oh just snap out of it.” But when we are there, it seems impossible. No matter how much you might try to “observe” your soul and the things in your life to find the root of the problem, it looks hopeless and nothing seems to help. Your mood and those problems don’t leave. According to Divine Providence, “The Lord withdraws no one from their hell unless they see that they are in hell and wish to be led out.” Seems simple enough. And how many times have we realized we are in hell and wished we weren’t there, and nothing much happened because we still felt horrible? Perhaps it is because we haven’t observed closely enough the hell we are in and what it is that is keeping us there.
Listen to misery and it will tell you why you aren’t happy. Often it isn’t the immediate natural cause we might think it is. A mean comment from someone at work, or the loss of our job, or an injury might trigger a negative state, but there might be more to it. In Arcana Coelestia, Emanuel Swedenborg writes,
“They are natural trials when a person suffers in ways that affect his physical body, he is sick, unfortunate, persecuted, wrongly punished, and so on. Anxious feelings in such circumstances are what are meant by natural trials. But these trials contribute nothing whatever to the person’s spiritual life; nor should they be called trials or temptations but miseries. For they arise as a result of harm done to his natural life, which is the life of self-love and love of the world...The more that [people] love self and the world, and so depend on these for their life, the greater is the their misery and anguish” (Swedenborg 8164).
If misery is caused by a natural problem, fixing the situation might not be what we really need, as other natural problems will arise. Finding instead what the ‘soul’ needs to be happy by raising our thoughts to spiritual ends rather than focusing on the natural will bring us a more lasting peace.
The question to ask then is, is our misery rooted in natural things or is there more there that is upsetting us? Sometimes we will have bad days that are a result of problems that arise on a natural level. The casserole will burn one day. Our bank account will come close to being empty. We will forget our mother’s birthday. But on other occasions, our miseries might tell us that we are too caught up in the natural world and depend on it for our happiness. Or they will tell us there is an underlying spiritual problem that we need to address. Moore says, “When you regard the soul with an open mind, you begin to find the messages that lie within the illness, the corrections that can be found in remorse and other uncomfortable feelings, and the necessary changes requested by depression and anxiety” (6). The key here is looking at your problems and negativity with an open mind rather than simplifying the matter and writing it off as “I’m just tired” or some other excuse.
The next time you are upset, miserable, angry, depressed or frustrated, ask yourself kindly, why are you unhappy? What are the hells around you so happy about that they are celebrating your misery? Evil loves misery and making you wallow in it is fun for them. Approaching our misery with kindness and with an open mind lets the angels in to guide us to see that natural trials are not the end of the world. They are by no means fun, but they are temporal. And perhaps misery has another message for us as well. Maybe our life has gotten out of balance, or our focus has shifted away from what is really important to us. Whatever our misery tells us, we need to be kind enough to listen to it, otherwise we will continue to wallow in misery and not find the happiness and peace we seek.
Rachel works in Wisconsin training Arabian horses. In her spare time she likes to write, contemplate life and cheer for the Green Bay Packers.
Rachel grew up learning New Church teachings and since joining the work world in its daily toil, she has enjoyed seeing the many ways those teachings come to life.