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“Cease to do evil, learn to do good” (Isaiah 1:16-17).
“In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: surely God has appointed the one as well as the other” (Ecclesiastes 7:14).
The other day I read a very clear statement that speaks to an ongoing issue in my spiritual growth: it’s okay to feel angry, it’s not okay to act on it. This statement came into my mind like a drop of soap in dirty water. After reading it, I went about my day and had the idea to track when I felt angry—to approach this feeling with curiosity, to “consider in the day of adversity.” The only “action” I would take when I felt angry was to make a note of what triggered my anger. It was surprisingly satisfying, rather than to have no action to take when I am feeling anger, to have something specific I would do—write it down, or in most cases, dictate it to a note on my phone! After doing this just for one day, I felt an ease, and less fear when the anger came up, because it no longer meant I acted out in a way I would regret a moment later.
In my meditation about it, the passage from Isaiah came to mind: “Cease to do evil, learn to do good.” There is a merciful gap inherent in this statement. It is very comforting to me that it says “learn” to do good, rather than simply saying, “Stop doing evil, do good instead.” This learning is a process. I have to stop acting out from a place of anger, but it’s okay that I am in a phase of simply learning to do good. And in my day to day life this looks like recognizing what triggers my anger and simply not acting on it. I have a sense that as I keep doing this, it will slowly become clear what would be a more helpful action in those instances—perhaps addressing my kids calmly, offering help, who knows! I’m learning! But the boundary has been made and so progress is possible.
But how do I get to a place of recognizing the evil for what it is so that I even can cease doing it? That is the usefulness of adverse conditions. I have realized my anger becomes most apparent in moments of adversity: when my kids won’t do the things I want them to, like get dressed for school in a timely manner, or won’t get in the car when I want them to, or when they desperately want me to do something when I am on my way to doing something else I am looking forward to. Add a hefty, varied dose of stress and anxiety and these challenging situations are quick to highlight negative behaviors for what they are, upping the contrast so to speak, and by the grace of God making possible a moment of clarity where I realize, “Oh, my behavior in such and such is not helping the situation but actually is contributing to the harm.” Once I become clearly aware that a habit is harmful then I can draw a line and cease to do it. It helps me to have a simple line I say in my head: (for me about anger) “I can feel it, I’m not allowed to act on it”—and then I begin the learning process. Surely God has appointed the day of adversity: this is God actually giving me a way out!
Chelsea lives with her husband and three children in Willow Grove, PA. She enjoys making music, doing yoga, talking and writing about spiritual topics, and living life overall.