In part two of this series Lawson discusses why virginity is important and what it looks like on a spiritual level. Lawson adapted these articles for New Church Perspective from one of his sermons. -Editor.
Why was it necessary for the Lord to be born of a virgin? Because the father’s soul and image is in his seed. In a working marriage, the Lord provides that the husband’s seed is received by the wife and adds itself to her life. In this way, a wife leads a life that is more and more of one mind with her husband. The union of souls and joining of minds comes right down into ultimate effects (Conjugial Love 172). If Joseph or any other man had been Jesus’ father, Jesus could only have been an ordinary man like his father. His soul would then have been a finite receptacle of life, like all of ours, instead of the Divine life itself. The Lord put on an ordinary, mortal, human body from Mary, the mother, but His soul was Divine, the Everlasting Father.
For a woman to give up her virginity is the deepest sign of love and commitment. The cleanness, purity and holiness of conjugial love makes one with her virginity. With it she promises to love her man to eternity, so she cannot rationally make this promise except in the security of a holy marriage covenant. And no man should ask her to give him this crown of her honor unless he is her husband, praying to the Lord to draw them together forever (Conjugial Love 460).
We know that too often, people do not wait for marriage. If a couple live together before marriage, but always with the constant intention to be married as soon as they can, it is not so unfortunate. The order is backwards, putting the physical first and the spiritual afterward, but the Lord can help them invert their priorities if they look to Him together. By contrast, simply to take a girl’s virginity and then later discard her is to treat her like a harlot, and to cheat the man who will be her husband, if she ever marries, both of which do serious harm to another human being. True love comes only from the Lord, so if people are in love, and have seriously asked for the Lord’s guidance, they should be betrothed first, and take time to get to know each other deeply, asking the Lord to join their hearts and minds. Then they should be married, and finally confirm their love physically.
Consider that Joseph was willing to refrain from knowing his wife physically even after they were married and he had brought her home, until she had brought forth her firstborn Son, according to the Lord’s command. We too can be obedient to the Lord’s command to allow a spiritual marriage love to be born in us.
We have many more opportunities to let the things of heaven rule the things of earth with us. In our daily work, we can dedicate ourselves to acting justly and faithfully to serve our neighbors and to serve the Lord, rather than living for the weekends or to buy nicer stuff. In raising our children, we can aim to prepare them for eternal life as a higher priority than success in this world. In our friendships, we can aim to love and draw out the good in our neighbor, rather than merely enjoying the pleasures of friendship.
In fact, in all things of life, we have the chance to cultivate spiritual virginity: the innocence of being the servant of the Lord, the affection of truth for its own sake rather than for personal advantage, and fleeing from evils as sins, lest they pollute the heavenly uses of life.
The Lord came into the world to save His people from their sins. He knows how weak human nature is today. He put on our weak human nature from the mother, an ordinary woman. By the power of His Divine Love within, He subdued all the hells. He is here with us, Immanuel, to give us strength to do what is right, too.
And when we fall down or fall short, He is here to help us repent and turn back to Him. Second virginity is possible. It is an attitude that says, “I have sinned against the Lord and the order of heaven. But now, by the Lord’s help, I will start over, and approach marriage and conjugial love according to His Divine order.” Or: “We rushed things in our relationship, but now we are married, and we promise to be faithful to each other forever, and to put the Lord and the things of heaven first in our lives.”
The Lord did not come to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved! (John 3:16). He came to lift us out of selfish ways of dealing with other people, and from merely physical cravings, or a love of manipulating others, into the true, lasting joy of heaven, which is love truly conjugial. He came to be the Bridegroom and Husband of the Church so that we can be good husbands and wives to each other, together forming His Church, His bride and wife. If we are not yet married, we can allow the Lord to save us for true marriage love and its happiness. If we are married, we can continue to pray and work for the spiritually virgin state of innocence, cleanness, and purity in our approach to our married partner and to all the uses of our lives. Because the Lord is with us, we can grow into this state more and more forever.
Lawson is very grateful to serve as pastor for the Kempton New Church and Kempton New Church School. Lawson considers his marriage to Shanon to be the greatest blessing of his life, and next is to have access to the guidance of the Heavenly Doctrine.