Wystan uses a sermon of Chuck Blair's as a starting point to speak about the frustration and anger she holds around caring for their handicapped child. She writes about where she finds solace in the midst of life's uncontrollable events and her progress in moving through pain. -Editor

(This article was first written as a blog on Livestream for New Church Live – the writer wanted to share it in support of others who care for very special needs people. What follows is just a part of the picture, thankfully. Bless you all.)

I turned on New Church Live on Livestream a few weeks back looking for a church service, not really for the message, but because I wanted to hear our daughter (a dorm student at ANC high school) sing with her choir. But I think that the Lord had me tuning in to hear the minister Chuck Blair’s message.

Chuck spoke that morning about anger and forgiveness. A lot of the examples he used were war-like, and, it seemed to me, very oriented to a male way of thinking about anger and revenge. I am lucky enough to say that I can’t even relate to the idea of loss of a loved one by violence – this is so far from my experience it doesn’t seem real.

But I live and breathe with anger and resentment just barely managed — and for me the language, the texture of anger is the slow, tiny, repetitive efforts to take care of my son, who is profoundly mentally handicapped; to get him to wash his hands, to brush his teeth, to clean up his poop and pee messes, day after day, after day, after day.