In this week's article Sasha tells about her search for something or someone to tell her what rules to follow in order to be good, lovable, and get approval. She looks back at the development of the answer changing from her parents to the Bible to the teachings of the New Church and beyond, and the conclusions she has reached in this process. -Editor.

As a kid, I knew how to get approval. Sing in the car instead of fighting. Don’t sneak food from the cupboards. Offer to help set the table. Stay in bed after the lights go out. Never comment on other peoples’ appearances. If I followed these and other stated and unstated family rules I got hugs and praise. My parents said I was “good,” and I believed it.

As I got older, though, I didn’t care quite as much what my parents thought. I no longer saw them as all-knowing, all-powerful beings who had the power to judge the value of my soul. I saw them more as two well-meaning folks who had their charm, but were also very human. Humans with occasional over-zealousness about how great their own kids were.

So then the path to validation became less clear. What rules did I need to abide by to be told I was “good”? To be seen as lovable? What authority figure did I need to depend on to tell me the right way to live?