Meditate | Blessed

Meditate is a monthly column in which insights gained from meditating on the Word are shared. We welcome your insights, too, in the form of comments, or better yet, your own article. Contact us if you'd like to write a submission for this column. -Editor

When I read Psalms, I often find myself identifying with the psalmist in ways that I wouldn't expect with a sacred text. Psalms that express lamentation of his situation or a wish for revenge on his enemies sound petty and whiny. One way that I come to terms with this is in thinking of it not as a literal prayer, but as an expression of spiritual state. The destruction of my enemies makes more sense if it refers to the evils I struggle with, as opposed to my neighbor.

But in this Psalm, I think there is value in a surface reading. It outlines a process that is humbling, but helps with a lot of frustrating self-talk.

א (Aleph)

Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart—they do no wrong but follow his ways. You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed. Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me. (Psalm 119:1-8)

The first few verses remind me of myself in times when I feel inadequate and bitterly compare myself to those around me. I feel like the blessing is for other people who are following the Lord better than me. I am idealizing my neighbor to perfection and vilifying myself to uselessness, both of which carry an unhealthy dose of objectification.

But there is a humbling and comforting change of focus toward the end. The psalmist has acknowledged that there is an ideal to strive for and that she is not there yet, but turns to what can be done in the present. "I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws." The ability to recognize that I am still in progress and can learn from and forgive myself for my mistakes frees me from that paralyzing dread of being unable to live up to the Lord's ideals.

The final sentence exemplifies for me the tricky balance of action as-if-from-yourself and trust in the Lord. As a prayer, I love the strong commitment mixed with the understanding that all is from the Lord.

"I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me."

Jasper McQueen

Jasper is a music student at Temple University. He is currently at home appreciating the beauty of nature that can be found in rural Pennsylvania.