The Caritas Challenge

Wystan is discontent with the superficial elements of Valentines day. She offers us a new love challenge to take it to a deeper level with bigger repercussions. -Editor.

It’s love month. And while some people think this means chocolate, and the jewelry stores are working to have you think it means diamonds, and the card shops count on you to think of red paper hearts, I have another idea. I think the New Christian Church could turn this month into a celebration of the love of marriage and our fellowman.

It’s also a cold month. February is a cold dreary one in the northern hemisphere, particularly this year. But in any year, February is either snowy and bitter (Maine or Michigan or Sweden), or rainy and cold (Maryland and Virginia and England), or just muddy (Georgia and France) depending. Once upon a time, some western European person had the clever idea of writing love-affirming notes to friends in remembrance St. Valentine. Somehow Valentine's martyrdom—the nature of which almost none of today’s chocolate eaters thinks about—was transformed into something for everyone to celebrate in a life affirming way. That is: maybe it isn’t spring yet darling, but until the seeds sprout under the artificial heat lamps and daffodils pop up outside, let me tell you that I love you, comfort you with something red, and put something tasty in your mouth!

So, why couldn’t such a transformation happen again? Just as the ancient pagan ceremonies for spring involving bunnies and eggs were annexed to the Christian knowledge of Jesus’ rebirth from death, just as the ancient Germans ever-green became part of the festivities at Christmas, so we can purposefully receive new life into our tired old customs, which in themselves are dead or silly, by simply becoming conscious. Signs and symbols are all around us to help us remember that the Lord God is in charge—he made the world and so naturally when you are listening, the world tells you all about him, and about what’s real, deep, and true, if only you can read those signs.

So then, rather than February standing for skimpy undies apart from the abiding love that makes skimpy undies worth putting on, Valentine’s Day could be a time for all people to give thanks for. We could celebrate it—that Spiritual energy that draws a woman and a man closer together into a harmony that gets richer every day. And the concept could be expanded, the whole month warmed up as Love Month—Caritas Month. Rather than merely lavishing chocolates or jewels or flowers on our family members, people might turn out to celebrate Love Between People as a gift from God, that Spiritual energy that draws all kinds of individuals together in the joy of living (and sharing flowers and chocolate) and working together to become a unified force for good in the world.

This year for Love Month, my husband Edward and I have so far done two things. First, we became sponsors for a young woman living at an orphanage in Kenya. She is part of our extended family now, and we are thrilled to know that we can do this; that we can make our African daughter certain of food and clothing and education; can encourage her to pursue her dreams; can (with difficulty) send care packages and letters. Welcoming someone new into your tribe: this is joy.

The other being we have welcomed into our lives is a puppy to be a companion for our aging worried dog. This addition is very much on the level of chocolates—it lasts longer, but compared to people, the puppy is about at the chocolate level of importance. Still, watching the old dog play with the new young one, and enjoying the antics of the new one, is such an affirmation at the rawest level of LIFE, its gusto, its driving force...its need for training!

But real celebration of Love Month could hit harder with much simpler heroics. Because the hardest folks to love in a new way are those right under my nose. (Boring. Rather eat chocolate. Play with puppy.) I could make a point to stop washing or cooking, and read a story to my challenging son at bedtime. I could build a puzzle with my annoying niece. I could quiet my schedule and invite my kid brother over to watch a movie. I could go over and say hi to that newcomer at church. I could ask the new guy or gal at work to meet for coffee, sit down to lunch, or come over for family dinner. I could ask my friend tell me about his or her day—and really listen. I could journal to clear my mind of old junk. I could recommit to reading the Word. I could enjoy a family worship. I could leave a surprise on someone’s doorstep.

What I propose, brothers and sisters believing in the New Church, is to turn this Valentine’s Day custom into something even richer. The soil is set for it. People are searching for it. Find some way to start the Caritas Challenge within your congregation. Find new ways to love the people in your life. Welcome a face into the circle of your life. See how many people you can make smile on the Metro. Write and mail an affirmation. Share a brownie. And give thanks for love, God’s gift February and every month.

Wystan Simons

Wystan, still an evolving writer, lives in Mitchellville, Maryland, with her husband of twenty-two years and two of their six children, also currently eight laying hens and two dogs. She enjoys having the family gather for dinner, whether the current four or all eight members together—especially if she doesn't have to cook. Besides writing, she loves all forms of art, gardening, and working together with her hubby to make things grow, whether the church, the family or the garden.