Interview with Donnette Alfelt about her changed view on Women in the Ministry

As the title suggests, this week we have an interview from Donnette Alfelt about her understanding of the issue of women in ministry. As a life long church participant her views on the matter have changed over the years, but most dramatically in the last year. -Editor

Question - Did you grow up in the church?

Answer – Yes. I was born in Bryn Athyn and have lived there for most of my 85 years of life. I attended New Church schools through two years of college. I moved away from Bryn Athyn in my twenties but returned when I got married.

Question - I understand that until recently you were against women being ordained as New Church ministers. Can you tell me about that?

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High Stakes

Jasper considers the spiritual risk involved in challenging our beliefs and trying others on for size. How far should one go in search of spiritual integrity? How much should the stakes affect your spiritual decision making? -Editor

A little while ago I saw a problem with the way I was thinking. I didn’t feel like the package of belief that I officially subscribed to was one that I could clearly explain or defend. When challenged to do so—either by a friend or simply by an idea—my responses came up hollow and unconvincing: repetitions of other people’s words or hedging statements that didn’t really address the issue. It’s important that the way I live my life, the way I understand the world, and the things I believe be in alignment and I realized that I needed to reevaluate my beliefs if I wanted to have that integrity.

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Meditate | Adverse Learning

Meditate is a monthly column in which insights gained from meditating on the Word are shared. We welcome your insights, too, in the form of comments or even your own article. Contact us if you'd like to write a submission for this column. -Editor

“Cease to do evil, learn to do good” (Isaiah 1:16-17).

“In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: surely God has appointed the one as well as the other” (Ecclesiastes 7:14).

The other day I read a very clear statement that speaks to an ongoing issue in my spiritual growth: it’s okay to feel angry, it’s not okay to act on it. This statement came into my mind like a drop of soap in dirty water. After reading it, I went about my day and had the idea to track when I felt angry—to approach this feeling with curiosity, to “consider in the day of adversity.” The only “action” I would take when I felt angry was to make a note of what triggered my anger. It was surprisingly satisfying, rather than to have no action to take when I am feeling anger, to have something specific I would do—write it down, or in most cases, dictate it to a note on my phone! After doing this just for one day, I felt an ease, and less fear when the anger came up, because it no longer meant I acted out in a way I would regret a moment later.

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Empathy in Marriage: Gender Differences in Communication Part 2

Carrying on with the ideas from last week, Micah breaks down some of the spiritual differences between men and women as described by Swedenborg. What is innate and what can we change? Looking at the changeable nature of mirror neurons, Micah suggests we can develop quite a bit. -Editor

As discussed last week, neuroscientist Schulte-Rüther’s study lent support to the issue of whether or not there are gender differences in the human mirror neuron system while also reframing behavioral research as it relates to empathy. This research concluded that men and women have statistically equal ability to provide empathic support, but that particular types of empathy come more naturally to each gender on a biological level. This has some interesting interactions with New Church thought.

What are the Gender Differences at a Spiritual Level?

In general, men and women appear to be spiritually similar. They both have freedom (the ability to choose between good and evil, and live accordingly) and rationality (the ability to think about truth), which are the qualities that make a human truly human (Divine Providence 98). Further, Emanuel Swedenborg, author of the Writings for the New Church, claims that both men and women have an intellect (the ability to have higher cognitive thoughts so as to think about truth objectively) and will (the loves that inspire people to act), though he qualifies by explaining that for men the intellect leads and for women the will leads; “and people are characterized by what is in control” (Heaven and Hell 369). Men therefore, are spiritually distinguished by their intellect—their ability to think, rationalize, and explain abstract ideas objectively. Women are spiritually distinguished by their will—their ability to act according to their intuitions, loves, and inspire people to act through shared loves.

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Empathy in Marriage: Gender Differences in Communication Part 1

Women and men are different. Their bodies are different in obvious ways, but also in less apparent ways—like the structure of the brain. Emotions are processed in the inner workings of the brain, and Micah examines the ways that men and women's brain neurons differ when feeling empathy. -Editor

You don’t understand. You don’t know how I’m feeling. How often do these ideas come up in relationships? These ideas often stem from a basic miscommunication, or failure to empathize.

Good communication, particularly in an intimate relationship, depends upon how two people perceive one another through empathy. Miscommunication, which seems to be a common issue in marriages, therefore indicates a lack of empathy between spouses. Who is at fault? Is either partner at fault? It turns out that there are gender specific approaches to empathy that lead to miscommunications in relationships, but, with conscious effort men and women can improve their non-dominant approach to empathy and thus communication with their spouse.

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Mixed Media | Are You Living Up To God's Expectations?

We have tried a few different mediums here at New Church Perspective, and this week we offer a video by Ronnie Schnarr. Watch Ronnie's powerful message about what God wants for us compared to what the hells want for us. Where does your burden and your anxiety actually come from? -Editor

The Lord tells us that His "yoke is easy and His burden is light," but I think a small part of us all goes "Yeah right, spiritual life easy? I don't think so." But what a lot of us don't know is that the load we think we are supposed to be carrying is not something the Lord has put on us at all, but is something we have put on ourselves. The Lord's expectations are light in comparison and His work actually brings rest into our life in the long term.

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